day one down, a bunch more to go...

Why do the scales at QFC live behind the Valentine's Day candy section? This was the cruelest joke of the day. Well known fact about me: I love Valentine's Day, and I also have a strong love for candy. Mixing these two? Magic, pure magic. I'm proud of myself though..

No candy hearts made their way into my basket.

Instead, I awkwardly shoved a big ol' scale into my shopping basket and piled on fruits and vegetables and bulk grains. I realized while I was at the self checkout that I tend to go to the one farthest from other people. Somehow I feel like chubby girls get judged on their purchases and if they aren't eating all healthy all the time then they are feeding into the obesity epidemic. This is of course an exaggeration built up in my mind but nonetheless I have always tried to hide my purchases no matter what they may be. Not today though! And not just because I was buying super healthy food, but because today I have a new appreciation of my personal choices and how they are just that: mine.

Setting up a scale in my apartment felt dirty. I always frown upon calorie counting and pound tracking, but you know what?

That's how you lose weight. And that's how I'm going to lose weight.

Here was my discovery:

Yup, that's my real weight. I used to cringe at the mere thought of this, but this is who I am. Why would I not want to understand myself better? And to understand myself I have to stop pretending that I'm not overweight.

My poor husband had to eat the most bland vegan dish you can imagine tonight, tomorrow I plan on making it up to him with an actual thought out yummy meal.